


Who We Are Becoming

by Thixotrofic



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood Spoilers, Fluff, Other, Post-Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26470453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thixotrofic/pseuds/Thixotrofic
Summary: A chronicle of a romantic relationship between Lyse and the Warrior of Light during the post-Stormblood story.Light is used to refer to a gender-agnostic Warrior of Light.
Relationships: Lyse Hext/Warrior of Light
Kudos: 6





	1. I Want to See

In the wake of the freeing of Ala Mhigo, there was remarkable quiet. There were open questions of rebuilding the country and reestablishing diplomatic relations, of integrating the different groups that lived in nearby lands, and the millions upon millions of other minutiae that comprise the day-to-day operations of a nation reborn, but there was significantly less internal turmoil than there had been after the defeat of Thordan's plans for domination.

In other words, a peace that could be mostly free from worry.

Not that this peace stopped Lyse and the Warrior of Light. When there were great forces of evil to be resisted, they stepped up. But when people needed a dangerous beast dispatched, a home rebuilt, or a package delivered, the two had learned the importance of helping out where they could.

Not that this motivation convinced the people of Ala Mhigo. There was a great desire among the population to see their champions to get some rest. Lyse would have a central role in the new government, but while leaders and learned debated what it should be, they would be offered no chances to play fetch.

This allowed for ample time for Lyse and the Warrior of Light to contemplate each other. Perhaps they had sought work to distract themselves from needing to make the first move.

When Lyse was Yda, Light saw her as a friend, and ally, but there was no romantic interest. The challenges they were facing did not allow for those types of developments, and the later realization that she was acting pseudonymously further indicated that she was in no place to enter into a relationship. She had to find herself before she could share with another.

And that she did, in lockstep with Light. Light was there as she had become a warrior, a revolutionary, a diplomat, a leader. They had the joy of seeing Lyse in new lights as she grew as a person, as well as literally different forms of illumination. The crisp and chilly morning twilight of The Fringes, the brilliant sunrise over the eastern mountains in Kugane, the bright tropical midday of the Ruby Sea, the long shaded afternoons in the valleys of Yanxia, the orange hues of sunset in the Azim Steppes, the dusk of The Peaks as the first stars appear over the clear highland skies, and now the evening glow of lamps in The Lochs as a new chapter of the Ala Mhigan people is being written. These unforgettable vistas, split across two continents an ocean apart, were tied together in Light's memories by Lyse's radiant beauty and determination.

Lyse likewise, through the course of their journey, through all her growing admiration and reliance on Light, wondered if she was falling in love. In the wake of the liberation of Doma, amidst conflicting feelings of elation at having freed one nation and the knowledge that her task was not complete, she couldn't help but prematurely envision what could happen after, and if she would be able to confess her feelings. As resistance forces advanced eastwards, she found it in herself to suppress these distracting thoughts, though on the eve of the final battle she couldn't help but share with Light the outfit that was so dear to her in a gesture she later worried was too suggestive.

Thankfully, her daydreams did not curse the outcome. After the final battle, the two were accommodated in adjacent guest rooms of the Ala Mhigo Palace, free to split their time as they choose between strolls in the garden, meals in the banquet hall, and receiving with friends and visitors.

Just two days into this new routine of life, Lyse and Light were relaxing on the balcony extending from Lyse's room after another in what had been a long line of festive, though not necessarily needlessly extravagant banquets. Lyse was wearing her red traditional dress, which she found comfortable and equally suitable for every public occasion. Light, representing the Scions, wore the suit that Tataru had made. The wind was cold, but Lyse never felt a need to shield herself from the fresh air of the homeland.

"You were really enjoying yourself," the Warrior of Light began. There were no high-ranking foreign guests to entertain that evening and wine flowed more freely than usual. As a result, some revelers pushed aside tables to create an impromptu dance floor while others ran back to their rooms to retrieve their instruments. Lyse did not partake in the wine, but was more than happy to dance and twirl fully sober, at one point pulling a reluctant Light up from their seat to dance together.

Lyse was looking out at the land before her that stretched into the horizon. She smiled at the reminder of what would become a great memory to be for which the paint had yet to dry, and all the memories already framed and kept on display in her heart. She recalled her intention to add one more small detail to the night's composition and turned towards her companion.

She had planned her words, but in the moment, all that preparation seemed futile.

"How long were you expecting to stay?"

"Well, probably until another next crisis breaks out and I'm needed again."

Lyse chuckled at the predictable but honest answer. "With this time-- Well, the time we have, together, I want us to be closer. I mean, we've had so much time around each other, but now, not knowing what's coming in the future... I want us to be together, forever, and as more than allies or just as friends. I want to see what that can be like."

Light looked at Lyse's flushed face and eagerly waiting eyes, and stepped forward to embrace her. Her heart was racing, just as Light had felt it in the pulse of her wrist while being pulled onto the dance floor, and their two bodies joined in a frantic, discordant rhythm.

"I want to see my future with you too."


	2. Being

A few weeks had passed. With the new government coming into formation, Lyse and Light were living together at a humble residence near the council hall of the Ala Mhigan Quarter.

Lyse had decided she wanted to learn Ala Mhigan cooking. For most of her life, she had received the hospitality of other places and people, and food from their own traditions. Having only eaten the cuisine of her people as a very young girl before escaping to Sharlayan, she avoided it as an adult, as it tasted more of grief than nostalgia. Now, the flavors were of celebration and remembrance. Or at least the cooking of more competent chefs could create those feelings. Lyse's own creations still had a way to go.

When the sun was out, she was occupied from travelling around the city, holding meetings and making decisions where she had discretion to do so. The working hours were focused, but she ensured that it would stop four bells past noon so that plenty of time could be spent with her partner who excused themselves at a similar time from whatever scheme Arenvald or Alphinaud had entangled them into that day.

Today, Light was home early, despite having picked up ingredients from the market. As Lyse entered the room, they looked up at her from the book they were reading.

"Welcome home," they said as she approached.

"Glad to be here." She stopped before Light, looking at the open book in their lap. "What are you reading?"

Light closed the book around their thumb to reveal the title of the volume,  _ The Conclusion of the Dragonsong War _ , a popular but accurate account of the events leading up to the peace brokered at Ishgard not long ago.

She rolled her eyes in playful irritation. "It's a good story, but, I mean, you were there! Actually, is that..." She noticed the dozens of bookmarks sticking out of its pages and a familiar tea stain on the cover.

"I found it in one of the boxes of our things that Tataru had shipped from Kugane. I hope you don't mind me borrowing it."

Lyse blushed. "No, it's fine. What's mine is yours."

"Cover to cover?"

She hesitated and nodded shyly. "I thought it was important to know what my friends--And what you had been through."

"Did you have a favorite part?"

Lyse lighted up and took a step back. She raised her arm, and with the best impersonation she could muster, exclaimed, "I, Alphinaud Leveilleur, am innocent of this charge, and claim my right to trial by combat!"

The two had a laugh at his expense.

"When they publish the book about the leader of the Resistance, I'll be first in line for a copy."

Lyse took a moment to realize what Light meant, with that title for her having faded into obsolescence, and not used to hearing it in such a casual context, but could think of no response besides becoming flustered.

"Do you think I'll be able to get her to sign it?"

Plainly embarrassed, she headed towards the bedroom to get changed. "Just... Can you get started rinsing the vegetables?"

Lyse returned in a casual red shirt and wide, undyed cotton culottes, her typical outfit for home and one quite suiting a budding culinarian. The two had decided on braised cabbage rolls, a common meal that was economical, tasty, and easy to make in large quantities. Light had cleaned and prepared a tall pile of peeled cabbage leaves, ready to be filled and tucked into yummy packages.

The two worked in silence, Lyse because she wanted to focus, and Light because they wanted Lyse to focus. This type of task was not her strong suit, and she frequently would frequently overstuff the leaves, with the browned and seasoned ovim mince filling leaking out of the leaves. Noticing this tendency, Light would help her by using their fingers to spoon away some of the excess from Lyse’s palm whenever she overestimated.

Their efforts produced roughly neat rows of stuffed cabbage leaves lining the bottom of a wide-based pot. Lyse rinsed off her hands as Light prepared the braising liquid, a mixture of stock and smashed tomatoes.

“I’ll get the coals ready,” Lyse said, briefly placing a hand on her assistant chef’s shoulder as she passed. It was one part of cooking in which she was confident. 

Light shortly after followed her up to the rooftop terrace. She was crouched over an earthen fire pit built into the floor, putting the finishing touches on a flat bed of coals with an old, iron poker that she utilized as if it were a treasured Doman blade. Satisfied, she laid down her instrument and turned to climb onto a couch that was as deep as it was wide.

Light set the pot down onto the glowing soot-covered cooking surface. The coals received the vessel perfectly, even to the shallow concave groove on its bottom. Lyse was watching intently as Light stood up straight and came to join her. She allowed them to lay on their back, propped up against a pillow to angle their upper body towards her. Very familiar with this arrangement, Lyse adjusted to get closer and lifted her head to rest it on her partner’s chest.

She closed her eyes. It was still early in the evening and a melange of voices were audible from the streets below. The wind rustled the leaves of a scarce few vines that were growing along the walls of the building, and more distantly a loose wooden shutter drummed against a wall with each gust. In silence, stars radiated light while the coals radiated heat.

Lyse felt a hand placed on her head. They would be, and they would become. But for now, they would be.


	3. Becoming

Sitting in the Doman Enclave, Light contemplated the sky. How the same sky could look so different depending on physical and emotional location. In this moment, a grey overcast that had continued through the entirety of the current trip to Othard was brightened by the surprise appearance of Lyse to invite Hein for a meeting with leaders of the Alliance. The two were sharing a private moment in the royal garden, with Lyse strolling back and forth in front of the bench.

Much had transpired in the intervening months, and only rarely was it positive. As much as the two wanted to find solace in Forlorda’s rehabilitation, Rhauban’s decision to remain in Ala Mhigo, Gosetsu’s reappearance and the ongoing reconstruction of the newly liberated lands, headwinds were many and fierce. Tensions with the empire were rising and Zenos seemed to still be alive and giving orders. The episode with Yotsuyu, was not only difficult, but understood differently by each of them. As hard as it was for those who had been witnesses to comprehend what had happened, Lyse could only understand it through Light’s recollection.

Through all this, their relationship was a source of strength. It had advanced and matured past the early bliss, partially forced as new crises and the need for Light to be in Othard demanded more from them than long afternoons passed idly together. They had stayed in touch with daily conversations over Linkpearl, but the insecure channel limited their ability to discuss the problems that really troubled them, as well as sensitive personal matters.

These in-person meetings were therefore extremely important. Lyse could not deny that a significant motivation for her delivering the invitation to Hein in person was to see Light again.

“Any word on Alphinaud?” For now, not knowing what the future held, they could at least seek the safety of their friends.

Light shook their head. Lyse would have been one of the first to hear if there was any new information, and they were aware that she knew that. Asking was more of an expression of hope that somehow she had missed something more than of genuine inquiry.

“I admire his ability to put his personal convictions aside,” Light began. “I don’t think I could work civilly with the Garleans after seeing what they’ve done.”

“And I need to learn how to,” Lyse added.

“How are things on the ground over there?”

“Not good. The Garleans are using Yotsuyu’s summoning as justification for aggressive posturing in our frontiers too. I wish I knew a way that could avoid another war but they seem set on that result.”

Light tensed up recalling the events of only a few weeks past. They had been around for that entire episode. In fact, the reappearance of Gosetsu and Yotsuyu was the entire purpose for this trip to Othard in the first place.

“I wish I had done something more. Something sooner. I was there the whole time, and I basically just watched it happen until it was too late.”

Lyse put a reassuring hand on Light’s shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. The Garleans would have just come up with some other excuse for what they’re doing.”

“I mean for Tsuyu.”

Lyse hesitated. She wasn’t at all used to this new name, or the idea that Yotsuyu could be a friend. She wanted to believe in rehabilitation, but given the very unusual circumstances of this case, and the fact that she had not herself a witness, she found it difficult to replace her memory of that truly wicked woman with this new person called Tsuyu. However, after feeling the impact that was made on some of her closest friends, Lyse regretted deeply that she couldn’t be there to see Tsuyu for herself and be able to tell her story.

“We all have our regrets, especially when it comes to decisions that involve people that we care about.” Light looked into the thoughtful face of their partner. Lyse knew about what she was talking about as intimately as anybody, but that she could now use her experiences to help guide someone else was another delightful example of how she had grown.

“Let’s honor her memory and fight for a future where it wouldn’t have ended the way that it did,” she concluded.

Light stood up and pulled Lyse close. “I’m completely with you there. But…” They paused, not knowing if they should utter a persistent, unwanted worry that had been with them for several weeks. But they knew this relationship would not be as it is if they had not been honest to each other. “If I were to do something and lose you… I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself.”

Lyse returned the hug and squeezed even more tightly, as if to keep Light with herself by force. She could say nothing in reassurance because she felt exactly the same way.

The two shared a a long silence. They recalled near misses, of moments in their past spent waiting for the other to return. Simultaneously, they reached the same realization. They could worry about each other whenever they wanted, but they could only enjoy time together at moments such as the present.

“How about a long soak before dinner?” Lyse missed the chance to try the hot springs of the East during her first visit, and admitted her jealousy when Light had talked to her through Linkpearl from a private bath. With the mood lifted, Light couldn’t be in more of a rush to take her there.

The open-air bath was taken with a long conversation covering cooking, reminisces about friends, and hopeful thoughts about the future. Afterwards, there was a multiple course banquet featuring fresh river fish and Yanxia vegetables in the main hall with their inner circle, Hein, Yugiri, Alisaie, and Y’Shtola, with many of the same topics discussed. Lyse saw that Alisaie was in good spirits, but had noticed an undercurrent of apprehension, and made a mental note to ask Light to look out for her. That, however, could wait for her departure the next morning.

As the diners finished their pudding and began to took their leave, Yugiri quietly informed Lyse that she had arranged bedding for two to be set up in Light’s suite, and that her belongings had already been moved from the guestroom on the opposite side of the building that Hein proudly showed her to.

Lyse and Light excused themselves and retreated to Light’s room through warmly lit hallways, hushedly sharing private reactions to some of the saucy revelations unveiled by the others at dinner in the company of friends and rice wine. Upon entering the suite and sliding the door closed behind them, Lyse pulled Light to the side and, pressing them against an ornate pillar that could support their combined weight, brought her face to theirs for a deep kiss. There had been frolicing in the bath, and Lyse didn’t have a strong need for constant physical intimacy, but the distance had created a longing still unfulfilled. 

The gesture was returned enthusiastically, and after satisfying their initial needs they relocated to the balcony. A brilliant full moon hung low in the sky, the first since that night which would forever cast a shadow on its otherwise complete beauty. For now, Light put those thoughts out of their head, sitting down in unison with Lyse on the outdoor daybed that he faintly noticed had not been there that morning.

They wanted another quiet moment with Lyse, like in Ala Mhigo when peace incorrectly seemed guaranteed. However, the winds blew from a different direction, and they each had many more promises to keep to themselves than to each other. There already had been a bath to themselves and a dinner with friends. It felt time to turn towards the world, the one that lay before them in one of its most beautiful forms but that had began showing impressions of danger beyond the horizon. The two shared not just their affections, but also the desire and ability to protect others, and much progress could be made of this meeting in sharing information and discussing plans for the a broader future.

Light turned towards Lyse and could tell that far from disappointing her with talk of the strength of the Alliance and diplomatic relations, she was of the same mind. Her expression was a conflicted one of wanting to simply be a couple, but knowing they both needed to be much more. Light reluctantly broke their embrace with Lyse and sat up. There was still plenty of time before the full moon would be made invisible by the rising sun.

“Hein wants to shore up his defenses in the East, but what if this causes a withdrawal and diversion of forces to the West?”

Lyse smiled, but not the optimistic, cheerful smile of when they had first met, a smile that she still showed with regularity. This was a smile of confidence, nurtured over her entire life and coming into full bloom in recent moons.

“Commander Rhauban and I had a long talk over this and here’s our plan. It’s not ready just yet so I want your input. In the northern frontiers of Gyr Albania, we--Oh, I wish I had my map, but…”


	4. I Want to See

Heroes as experienced as Light and Lyse naturally developed a hyperactive sense for danger. Those that could not detect when a situation was bound to go awry could not survive. This sense, useful as it was in the field, had other manifestations. Jolting awake at night, ready to fight because of a recollection of a primal summoning or an ally struck down by an unseen enemy was a common experience.

That was a reflex. What was more oppressive was dread, that the condition of the greater world would get worse, and that war and chaos were soon to come. Such was the mood in the air as Lyse and Light met privately after hearing Maxima’s account. It was the first moment to be shared by just the two of them since the day in Doma. There had been the council of Alliance leaders where both were in attendance, but no chance to meet beforehand and certainly not after Thancred collapsed and Light had to search for answers at the Rising Stones.

Even though it was only the two of them in the room, neither felt like they were speaking for just themselves. That the situation was spiraling towards open conflict so quickly, that life force had vanished out of their closest friends, and now that the revelations of a new cataclysmic weapon being developed made it impossible for them to talk to each other as if nothing was going on. They were speaking within borrowed time.

There had been no physical greeting as the two entered Lyse’s private quarters and she closed the door behind them. She had started living in the council hall weeks long ago. Light looked around the unfamiliar furnishings. None of it was from the home they had briefly shared together.

Lyse stared blankly, as if she had no idea what to talk about despite having brought Light here. Their Linkpearl conversations had become fewer and fewer, with more and more left unsaid each time.

“I’m sorry.” Light almost didn’t have the courage to look Lyse in the eyes. It was the worst thing a hero could say.

Lyse inhaled deeply, and held back her tears as she had trained herself to do so for an instant before remembering she had no reason to hide and began sobbing. She clenched her fists as she replayed all that had happened in the past few days, and cried where she had not been able to before. Neither person attempted to approach the other.

“I’m sorry I had to be away. I’m sorry I had to leave after Thancred collapsed. I’m sorry I can’t make all of this better.”

Lyse shook her head. She knew everything Light was doing was for her. For everybody. This apology wasn’t an admission of blame as it was frustration towards not being able to do more. Another common part of the experience of being a hero. She walked up to the crying Light and took them in her arms in comfort. The embrace of two suffering souls yielded greater strength, but there was also something else very apparent to each of them as they held on to the other.

It was over.

Light had considered running away with Lyse. Abandoning the fight was inconceivable in the past, since Light was living for themselves and was committed to a life of battle, but with Lyse, a new possibility for eternity had revealed itself. In quiet moments, some of them within her presence, more recently without, they had considered going to some far-off land with the happiness they could share.

But the problems with this picture came even more easily. They would have to leave behind everybody they knew, to make themselves feel innocent of their fates. They would have to go beyond the periphery of civilization, to escape the rumors of horrors wrought and casualties incurred in their absence. And of course, the likely possibility that evil forces once too powerful to oppose would hunt them down as potential threats anyways.

There was a way for them to be together, but there would be no future.

Similarly, there was no point in continuing the relationship. The essence of their affection for each other was undeniable, but with all that they had to contend with, it could not find expression. Neither would it be a source of comfort. Comfort would be only found in struggle, on the battlefield, in the infirmary, in the stateroom, in the shelter, wherever they would be needed.

All of this was unspoken but known. It was clear in the looks in their eyes, in their touch, in the anxious beating of their hearts, a frantic but shared tempo.

“I don’t regret what we had and I want to see a future where we can continue.” Lyse had gotten better at encouraging others, but being lost for words to reassure, she spoke selfishly for once. Would that future come to pass? They lacked the knowledge to say, but were blessed with the strength to fight.

Light held on tightly. The same sense that anticipated strife and war on the horizon told them that they would soon be away for a long time. Until that day or hour no one knows, they could only make as much of a difference here as they could.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Bring our friends back, will you?”


End file.
